First day blues.

I remember my first day in college. It was raining and I’m having lunch with people I barely knew. I just wanted to go home and if possible, just go back to highschool. I missed my highschool life so much that time. I’ve heard a lot about college…that it’s not as fun as highschool. I believed in that actually, for a time. 

All I’m saying is that life does not end when highschool ends. I’ve been reading a lot of post here on tumblr and on facebook on how incoming college freshies are not so hyped about where they will be going. Of course, you will miss your HS friends. You can still get together once in a while. But I tell you, college is a much bigger world. You get to meet a lot of people. New experiences. New adventure. On my opinion, college is more fun, but my highshool friends will always be the best. 

Why do people only act sincere right after they commited a mistake?

But when few months, days, or hours have passed, they tend to forget the weight of the sin they commited. They took you for granted, act as if nothing happened, and do the same mistake again. I hate how I am so forgiving to people and how quickly I put my trust in them after what they did. 

I missed the best part.

The chase. Or maybe I just think I did. But I lately my mind is bombarded with the “What ifs”. I feel like I’ve been too easy on him. I forgot to play hard. Not that I feel like he’s not valuing me or what. It’s just that you can’t help but somehow regret these nonsense. I shouldnt’ve let him kiss me that easily. I shouldnt’ve said no when he first ask me out. I shouldnt’ve reply quickly when he texted me. All these yaddas. 

Ladies, you need to respect and value yourself. If you can’t love yourself first, how can you expect him to do the same? As the saying goes, “Easily take, easily forsaken.” Yes! It definitely doesn’t always go that way. But you first need to be sure that your man can keep up with you through thick and thin. 

"I’m afraid that you’re going to get sick of me. I’m afraid that, if I let myself feel ecstatic about being with you, then when you leave me, I won’t be able to pull myself back together."

Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home (via idareyoutomove-)

(Source: motherofaflowerchild, via insidemyuniverse)

Silly Regrets.

If I were given a chance to turn back the time even for just a few months, I would rather not have that traditional debut on my 18th bday. I’ve just seen the video of that night and Gah I was like, What was I thinking? I don’t know why. My party really sucks. Or maybe I could have chosen different people on the 18’s list. I mean, I didn’t even include that special someone of mine on the 18 roses. It’s funny how our life can really change so quickly. I can also remember those people whom I’m expecting to come but didn’t. Maybe they don’t realize how important for a girl to celebrate her 18th bday with all those people she loves. You may think that it’s not enough reason to hate someone just because of that. I really DGAF.

Basically my advice for those of you who are thinking of having the traditional debut party…Just NO. It’s not really worth it.

On a different note…. I’m just wondering why is it when I post something personal, I always lose a follower? Hahaha.

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

I can’t help but think to myself that I already missed a lot on life. You see I’m already 18 and I believe that it’s already the end of teenage life. The best part of life, as I believe so. I should have been more conscious about my figure & how I dress up. How I wish my family was so rich that I can buy any clothes, shoes, accessories, make-ups and bags I like. I should have gone to a different high school so I can meet a lot of guys and maybe right now I have a boyfriend worthy to keep for a lifetime. I should have gone to a different college and pursue a course that is really my interest and  where I could really shine. 

How I wish I could turn back the time and change all these. Maybe I would be in a better place right now. Not that I’m where am I right now. It’s just I regret some things in my life that I didn’t fight for something I really like.