The more you show a person you can’t live without them, you are giving more reasons for them to take you for granted.

I have so many things to do right now but I can’t help but blog about this anyway.

This is so true in so many different ways. The more you show a person how much you love them and how forgiving you are, they tend to abuse it. I hate it so much. I hate that I am so kind to people even up to the point that it’s not right anymore. After they do you wrong, at first they would be like trying to make up for all the wrong and trying to be all nice and kind, but later on when they know that you forgive them easily, everything will be the same again.

And then again, same process. End result. Me getting hurt again.

I am so tired of this cycle. 

Someday, I’ll learn how to love myself right. And I can’t wait for that day.

This time, I went against what I would normally do. I have learned that people don’t always need to know your side. At least for people who won’t really give a shit. Let them say what they wanna say and judge you for what they think you are. It’s enough for me to know that I know that I’m not the bad guy and God is on my side. I won’t give you the pleasure of seeing me unhappy, but instead,I’ll prove you wrong. I can be happy with or without your appreciation and support. I still thank you for making me a better person. 

If you were to ask God one question, what would it be?

A question I often heard, but I only got answer this last night after having a very bad dream.

In my dreams, all of my dogs were about to die. I saw two other dogs, one chow chow and one poodle (if i’m not mistaken). IDK why they where there but I assume they are my dogs too, but along with all my other dogs, they were to about to die too. When I woke up, I cried so hard and went downstairs to check them. They were completely fine. Then I prayed, “After this life, would there be room for dogs in heaven too?”

From what I know, only humans have souls. When you die, it’s either your soul will go to heaven or hell. Animals don’t have souls, I guess. So what happens to them after death? Do they just disappear forever? 

Security.

Last Saturday during our devotion in praise and worship team, our devotion leader asks, “If you were to ask God for anything, what would it be?”

Others answered… vacation, wisdom in decision making,a long life…

I answered, SECURITY. Security in every aspect of life.

They look confused so I explained further.

Security that makes you happy with whoever you are and whatever you have. Financial security, not being rich, but having enough money to get through everyday.  And one more thing that I forgot to say which is the most important, Security, that puts away all doubts about my faith in God. 

ATC for 2 consecutive days! Last date before summer vacation. (photo spam)

Tried Bonchon for the first time. 2 rice for me! He only had one. :))

Watched “The Hunger Games.”

BreadTalk for snacks while watching the movie

Auntie Anne’s pretzel, Serenitea’s Malt milk tea, and Gong Cha’s Earl Grey milk tea for snacks again. :)) Mine’s the bigger one!

We actually had a fight after that day so it didn’t quite ended well. The next day he fetched me at home and asked me to wear a blind fold for the next 30-40 minutes. He took me to ATC again! Haha. He said he wanted this time, to end our day well. 

Lunch at Pepper Lunch.

DQ at Festival Mall. We transferred there to look for a gift for his sister (we failed yesterday :|) and buy treats for our doggies :D

Talk about splurging… for FOOD! We won’t see each other that often since it’s summer vacation. At the end of the day, happy stomach, happy us - it’s all worth it.

A bit worried about my dogs.

Something wrong with Bolt (the shih tzu). You see, 2 weeks ago I noticed something in Bolt’s left eye. There was a white spot on the his pupil. I doubt it was catarata because Bolt is just 9 months old. Something could have pricked his eyes. :( poor thing. I wish I could see his eyes as bright as this again. I would sometimes cry when I think about it.

That is me with Twinkle, my favorite. This photo was taken today. The vet said that Twinkle is obese and that she needs to lose 2 kilograms. The reason is when she got pregnant at that state, she could die. The truth, I don’t want twinkle to get pregnant. I don’t want to see her having a hard time carrying her baby for months. I just don’t want twinkle to feel that way. I just found out that our maid is only feeding her once a day. How cruel :( I tried to hide foods for her. I also noticed that since yesterday, twinkle is always coughing like she is chocking. She must’ve have taken something she should not because of too much hunger. :’( I feel bad for her. 

I love my dogs very much. I became so attached with them, because for them, I don’t feel so alone at times. I’m praying for them and I hope they do get well soon.